RTA

This has absolutely nothing to do with books or writing, mine or anyone else’s.

Yesterday I spent half a day assembling a rocking chair. I had bought it online and had failed to see the fine print: “some assembly required.” So it was an unpleasant surprise when it arrived in a flat pack.

I swore that I would never do another one of these. I know that a considerable amount of thought, creativity, and engineering goes into designing these projects such that the parts can be loaded into a box and shipped, and upon arrival can be assembled with a few tools (usually supplied) and even less expertise by blooming idiots. However, the designers of RTA furniture fail to take into account someone like me, a COMPLETE blooming idiot. I have no talent or patience.  I had to research hex nuts to find out which end is “up.”

I could have returned it. But I really wanted that chair, so I tackled it. Four hours, three split cuticles, two broken nails, and several colorful metaphors later, I had it put together. In my defense, one bolt was ever so slightly misaligned and required some editing with a mallet on my part. Indeed, the instructions did advise that two people might be required to align the holes for the fasteners.

I will readily admit that even with the supplied “single end wrench” I did not get all the bolts as tightened as they probably should be. But I gave the chair a test sit and it didn’t collapse. This morning it’s still there on my patio, all in one piece, rocking gently in the breeze, seductively murmuring “come hither.”

My compliments to the designers. This is a very comfortable chair. It has a nice high back and wide arms. It rocks back just so far and then stops at a perfect angle. I foresee many a pleasant hour sitting on the patio drinking coffee or perhaps an adult beverage (like the one I sorely needed after my construction exercise). It’s roomy and supportive for reading. Or writing. So maybe this post is about books after all.

resin wicker RTA rocker

By the way, about those hex nuts? Study the nut and you’ll see that one end is flat and the other end is slightly crowned. The crowned end is “up.”

About Dee

"What if?" Those two words all too easily send Devorah Fox spinning into flights of fancy. Best-selling author of “The Redoubt,” voted one of 50 Self-Published Books Worth Reading 2016, and three other books in The Bewildering Adventures of King Bewilliam epic historical fantasy series. She also co-authored the contemporary thriller, Naked Came the Sharks, with Jed Donellie. She contributed to Masters of Time: a SciFi/Fantasy Time Travel Anthology and has several Short Reads to her name, including Murder by the Book, A Mystery Mini. Born in Brooklyn, New York, she now lives in The Barefoot Palace on the Texas Gulf Coast with rescued tabby cats ... and a dragon named Inky. Visit the “Dee-Scoveries” blog at http://devorahfox.com.
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